I Hate S’mores. Seriously Hate.
Summer is approaching. People will be doing more cooking outside. There will be fire. If there happen to be marshmallows, invariably someone will suggest making s’mores.
It’s just a bad idea. Bad all around.
Toasted marshmallows are fine. They are great. Feel free to put them on sticks over fire until you feel queasy from the sugar, smoke and heat. Until all the hair has been singed off your fingers, and your tongue and mouth are blistered and burned. Until your face and fingers are so covered with sticky goo you could pass for a human flytrap. And do it with my blessing.
I’m not even going to tell you whether I think it’s better if they are:
a) set aflame so as to be charred black for a bitter exterior contrast to the sweet insides, or
b) gently toasted to a golden brown, forming a delicate crust that slides off a firm but melting center.
I am going to tell you not to sully that delightful morsel between a graham cracker and a slab of chocolate. It gains you nothing. And loses you everything.
I can imagine in my mind what a good s’more would taste like.
It would not be on a graham cracker. It would be more like a graham cracker crust, but probably in the form of a cookie. Something with a lot more butterfat, and not the dry, sandy substrate that passes for the bread on this traditional dessert sandwich.
The chocolate would be a good quality dark chocolate. Not the ubiquitous Hershey’s “barely chocolate” milk chocolate bar. I would be perfectly happy with Callebaut. And it wouldn’t be a bar either. It would be a creamy chocolate ganache – something that would spread well over the cookie.
However you cooked the marshmallow, it would need to cover the entirety of the cookie below. But the critical point is that the marshmallow should be the shining star of the dish. It should sit proudly on top and not be covered by another cookie. Your teeth should still be able to experience the sensation of biting into a hot toasted marshmallow.
Clearly, this vision of my ultimate s’more is still an exercise in gilding the lily. As good as this may be, it is still not that appealing to me.
As far as I can tell, the only reason for the existence of s’mores is to hide the grit of sand from eating roasted marshmallows at the beach. Why else would they be placed on graham crackers? Yuck-a-doo.
Some might argue that putting the marshmallow in a sandwich makes it a cleaner, less sticky experience. Hogwash. I have never seen a s’more eater not covered in sticky goo.
People should be happy with having a perfectly toasted marshmallow. It is one of life’s wonderful simple pleasures.