Finished With Fried Foods
If you are reading this now, it’s because I’ve finally found an Internet connection in France. But it was written in Newark as Mrs. Fussy and I were having a work date in Terminal C. This trip to Paris after all involves her giving some kind of talk somewhere about something not food related.
I’d say how boring, but I’m getting a great trip out of the deal, so I’m not complaining.
Today Chanukah ends. Thank God. Last night was the last night, and I was able to get Mrs. Fussy a present of a universal electric plug adapter in the airport. It was just what she wanted. The Fussy Little Children presumably got something from their grandparents. I’m sure they are having a blast.
Let me tell you, one more day of fried foods might have killed me. The holiday has certainly helped to advance my goal of putting on a little winter weight. Somehow I forgot that with the extra weight comes inches. I’m not loving my new tight pants. Luckily denim stretches a bit. So after I make it back from these few days of eating, I’m going to slow it down a bit.
How fast have I been living? Let me share the horror.
It started simply enough with one latke party. I brought two containers of sour cream. One for me, and one for everyone else. That worked out pretty well. And seriously, I ate enough latkes that first night to really scratch the itch for the whole season. That’s a lot of latkes.
There were more left on the platter at the end of the night, and I couldn’t even imagine putting another one between my lips. I had stuffed myself to the gills. Sometimes, that’s what it takes to rid oneself of an obsession.
Except the next night there was another latke party. And I engaged in the same reckless behavior yet again.
Then there were the donuts from Bella Napoli. This year we only got them for one night of the eight. But those Boston Creme, jelly and cake donuts continued to prove themselves as some of the best in the area.
There was also only one occasion that I went out for fried clam strips at Bob & Ron’s.
But really the peak of the depravity occurred on the sixth night when Mrs. Fussy was working and I had the children to myself. I thought it would a great idea to take them out to a totally fried dinner. The chic of where to go was the hard part. I had City Dining Cards to The Washington Tavern and Junior’s and figured this would be a good chance to use one.
Junior’s made the cut, mostly because I had never been inside before, and was curious to see what they were about. They are apparently about happy hour. Because before six o’clock they were selling orders of mozzarella sticks, boneless wings, disco fries and 8-cut cheese pizza for $5 apiece
With prices like that it would be challenging to make the $10 off $30 cutoff for the City Dining Card. But I was willing to try. Perhaps the Happy Hour portions would be small.
Holy shit. I can’t believe the amount of food that came out of the kitchen. We also got an order of regular fries for Little Miss Fussy who was nonplussed about the idea of gravy on her French fried potatoes. For fun I also got sides of melba sauce (fine), buffalo sauce (fine) and moonshine sauce (not for me).
The quality of everything was okay. The standout were the disco fries, although the Mozz & Raz would have fallen squarely in the middle of the pack from the recent tour.
It was just so much fried food. Even with hungry kids who love breaded and fried chicken strips, mozzarella sticks, and French fries we left more than a pound of food on the table easy. And the whole thing was less than $20 before tip. It was staggering, and left me wondering whether I was taking the Miracle of the Oil just a bit too far.
All I know is that I don’t really want to look at another fry. And I know that I’m in Paris and there are some amazing steak frites. It’s a great dish. But I can’t see myself ordering it anytime soon. Luckily I’ve got some solid recommendations for a lot of other places that have nothing to do with frites.
Now it’s time to gorge on bread and butter. Totally different. I’ve also heard stories about this crispy skinned roast chicken only available on Sunday. Don’t know if I’ll be able to make it there, or even if the chicken lady will be out in December. Wish me luck.