I know it’s only Thursday, but tomorrow I’ve got to talk about cocktails, so today let’s talk about brunch. Brunch is one of those meals that I really want to love, but these days I’m finding it extra challenging.
In part, this is because I’m trying to eat smaller portions of more healthful food. Of course that opens the door to a million different opinions on food and health. Mostly, I’m trying to limit refined grains, sugars, and deep fat fried foods. Fattier meats are okay in moderation, but I am trying to lean more towards vegetables and lower fat sources of protein. And of course, I’m trying to do it all while still prioritizing deliciousness.
That makes the average breakfast menu in this part of the world a minefield, and the hunt for a hearty, healthful, and delicious breakfast harder than you might imagine.
Toast is one of my favorite things. No joke. I love toast. The smell of toast in the house has me craving toast. But when I’m eating out, for the most part, toast is a hard pass. Why? Most bread is awful stuff, and I want as little to do with it as possible. I don’t even like calling it bread. It should be called extruded and sliced bread product, or something like that.
Pancakes, when they are good, are worth every single calorie and whatever units in which blood sugar spikes are measured. Most pancakes aren’t worth your time. But it’s hard to even know, because I won’t even touch the things if real maple syrup isn’t available. I have no interest in maple flavored corn syrup, or high fructose corn syrup in anything. This is why at roadside diners I generally encourage my kids to get the chocolate chip pancakes, because they are sweet, and don’t require any “pancake syrup”.
Waffles, same thing. Sadly, that means chicken and waffles are out too.
French toast is even worse. It combines the crap “extruded and sliced bread product” with the issue of being covered with something that’s not real maple syrup. Nutella isn’t the answer either. Nor is powdered sugar. Plus, good french toast is such a delight. And It’s something I can make very well at home, if I do say so myself.
Omelets can be fine, but they drive me bonkers. Three eggs is far too many eggs. Some might say that two large eggs aren’t quite enough. I think the answer might be using two duck eggs, since they are a little bigger. Mostly, I’m not a fan of the stiff, well-browned folded omelets. Nor do I particularly enjoy the rolled omelet made in seconds on a diner’s flat top griddle. There are good versions out there, but again, these are so easy to make at home.
So, what do I want?
Thanks for asking. Because I’ve been thinking about this a little bit. There was a cafe in Oakland, California I went to a few times, and it had one of my favorite brunch dishes. However, it’s going to sound really weird. You’re just going to have to trust me.
It was a bowl of soft polenta, enriched with an egg.
The egg was simply whisked into the hot corn porridge, so there was no runny yolk to pop. This wasn’t a dish for the instagram era. Although it was like eating a bowl of sunshine. It was decidedly savory, but you could pour a little real maple syrup over the top if you wanted a hint of sweetness. And that’s what I did.
Is making polenta easy? Kind of. It just takes time. And stirring. Plus cleanup is a pain in the neck. This is the kind of food that I would love to pay someone a few bucks to whip up for me. The same is true for a good bowl of steel cut oats. Not the wet mushy rolled oats. But those hard oaty nuggets that have been fried in butter, and slowly simmered with milk, water, and salt. Getting a bowl of those delivered to me in bed, is probably one of the best treats I could ever ask for. I’ll have to try and remember that next time one of the Fussies wants to butter me up.
If these dishes exist on local restaurant brunch menus, I haven’t encountered them. There are also all kinds of ways to dress up good oats.
While we don’t have great fruit in the Capital Region during the winter months, what about a segmented citrus salad? That’s seasonal. Where is my bowl of supremed heirloom citrus?
Fortunately, I’m happy with simple things like two poached eggs on a pile of crispy homemade corned beef hash. That’s a go to. And I still want to get back to Perreca’s for more eggs in purgatory. Yes, those are all about toast, but Perreca’s toast is one of the few places where it’s made from actual bread.
Is anybody with me on this?
I feel like this is an especially bad problem in this part of the world. There’s something about that classic American breakfast that I just don’t get. And maybe if I was going to spend the day out farming, or if I had just completed morning chores before sitting down to a giant plate of carbs on carbs on carbs, I’d feel differently.
The bottom line is that I’m not feeling all that bullish about American brunches. I think it may be time to look beyond the borders of this country and take a peek at how the rest of the world starts their day.