The Best Gift Ever

Here is a little something you may not know about me.  I’m a bit of a hoarder.  I like to hold onto things.  This causes some problems, especially since some of the things I like to keep are foodstuffs.  Just this weekend I had to toss a bunch of expired Carnation Malted Milk.  Sniff.

My sister, the brilliant woman that she is, found a solution to this.  Knowing my long-held childhood penchant for Astronaut Ice Cream, she wanted to get me a pack for a gift.  But instead of buying me one, she bought two.  “One to eat, and one to save,” the card said.

This was not the best gift ever.  But it was pretty close.

The best gift ever achieved a similar function, but with a different approach.  And as opposed to the astronaut ice cream, it may have a broader appeal – although its appeal may be limited to true food lovers.  And here’s the best part.  You can still get it to your loved ones in time for Christmas.

One word: caviar.

Mrs. Fussy and I got this as a wedding gift from a dear friend of ours.  The gift came in stages, with caviar spoons preceding the arrival of the fish eggs by several weeks, to increase our anticipation.

But then the caviar came via FedEx Overnight.  It was professionally packed to arrive cold and fresh.  Our friend was very generous and gave us a tin of osetra and another tin of beluga.

This was a great gift for several reasons.
1)    Because it is perishable, it must be consumed quickly.
2)    Fine caviar is a rare culinary treat.
3)    We wouldn’t buy it for ourselves.
4)    It brought two nights of decadent pleasure.
5)    We still remember them to this day.

Over the course of our fish-egg orgy we came to realize that we much prefer vodka as a pairing with caviar than champagne.  Champagne and caviar has a nicer ring to it, but the bubbles are just aren’t up to the task.

Maybe now you will say, “But Daniel, aren’t you always talking about the Monterey Bay Aquarium Seafood Watch, and don’t they say to avoid caviar?”

Yes and yes.

But they do also say that domestic farmed sturgeon caviar is a good alternative.  And with that, I offer another suggestion: Tsar Nicoulai Caviar.  They are the self-proclaimed “Pioneers of Sustainable California Caviar.”

And from what I can tell regarding their holiday shipping policy, if you order on Monday the caviar will be where you want it on Wednesday.

I’m guessing any food lover on your list would be delighted to receive an ounce of their Select caviar. Tsar Nicoulai quotes Thomas Keller as saying the Select is “Intensely flavorful with a refined and smooth finish. It is the best farm-raised caviar available.”

Just make sure to remind the recipient of this gift about the vodka versus champagne thing.  Or maybe they’ll have more fun figuring it out for themselves.