Thanksgiving Made Easy

This is what everyone wants to know, right?

Because putting together a Thanksgiving meal is hard.  Well, I suppose to some people who have been doing it for a long time, it’s not exactly hard.  They have the routine and the timing down.  They know when to clean the sink, so the bird can be brined with enough time to make it into the oven and make it to the table.  They have figured out the side dish dance, managing the real estate of the burners and the oven (during the time the turkey is resting) so that everything cooks through and comes out hot.

But even if it’s not hard, it is a lot of work.  And beyond work, it’s not cheap to put on a big festive meal for a crowd.  Yes, some supermarkets run specials where they give you the turkey for free.  But there are two adages that apply.  One, there is no such thing as a free lunch.  And two, you get what you pay for.

Then there is the stress and the worry.  Let’s say you go out and buy a nice bird to cook.  It may be the most expensive thing you’ve ever attempted to cook, and if you leave it in the oven too long, it will border on inedible.  But if you don’t cook it enough, it will be pink and could make people sick.  Ack!

My personal solution is to get invited somewhere where the meal’s always delicious, and supply enough well-selected wine that I get invited back.

But you may actually want to host an event like this.  So for you, I have the following, timely, and sage advice.

Order out.

Seriously.  The first time I heard about this strategy I was floored.  It seemed so antithetical to the purpose of the holiday.  That is, to express your love and affection for people through cooking.  Until it dawned on me that I might have that last part wrong.  But I don’t think I’m alone.

It was my boss at one of those San Francisco ad agencies who did this every year.  She was the best, and although I haven’t spoken to her for years, I have a picture of her and her beautiful family up in my kitchen.  At the time one of the best restaurants in the city was the Dining Room at the Ritz.

For a couple hundred dollars, the Dining Room at the Ritz would do the whole thing for you.  All you had to do was call in an order, pay by card, pull your car up to the loading dock, and reheat.  The boss swore it was delicious, and the best Thanksgiving food she ever had.  Knowing both her and what that kitchen was capable of at the time, I don’t doubt it.

In Albany, we don’t have Gary Danko or his successor at the Ritz, Sylvain Portay, but we do have Dale Miller.

And chef Dale Miller’s eponymous restaurant is offering a complete thanksgiving dinner for 10-12 people for $195.  Just for the record, I know this sounds like a commercial, but this is just me trying to be helpful for those in desperate need.

If you are interested, you can see all the details yourself in their horribly designed three fold brochure that can be downloaded here.  

The point is that if you think you will spend less than $200 making all of this yourself at home, you are lying to yourself.  Truly.  The thing is that when one goes shopping, one buys a lot more than one actually needs.  And in the frenzy of the holiday season you are not going to have the time or the energy to go to the bulk spice bins and buy just a tablespoon of cinnamon.

Granted, if you are the type of person who actually cooks on a regular basis, it’s likely you’ll have a lot of what you need already on hand.  But even still, for allowing you to avoid the crazed shoppers at the supermarket, the messy prep work, the minefield of cooking the meal, and the endless task of cleaning all the cookware, $200 isn’t a lot to spend on even an average meal for ten to twelve people.

While I’ve never had the Dale Miller Thanksgiving at Home Experience, it is produced by one of the highest-rated kitchens in town.  So at the very least, I would expect it to be above average.

The holiday isn’t about putting the love you made into other people’s mouths.  It’s about being together with friends and loved ones.  If you are a stressed-out basket case in the kitchen, you are not doing anyone any favors.  And while to some, cooking a Thanksgiving meal might be a rite of passage, having the wisdom to order out might just be a rite of passage of a different sort.