Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

There isn’t much more I can do for you at this point.  Christmas is tomorrow.  I hope for your sake that you don’t need to go to the store today.  Please say that you have all your presents, wrapping paper, food, wine, spirits, and various sundries.

Because it’s madness out there.

And it’s likely to be just as crazy on the roads, at the train stations, and in the airports.  We talked a bit about this, and the implications holiday travel has on eating, back around Thanksgiving.  So there is nothing new to report.

Which makes me think we should talk a little bit about tomorrow.  Because while it is Christmas, it will also be Shabbos.  And much like Walter Sobchak, I don’t roll on Shabbos.  So that means the time is now.

Last year on Christmas I wrote about movies.  Oddly, I’m feeling a lot more excited about the winter blockbusters this year than I have in the past.  Perhaps it is the increasing probability that I may actually get to see one of them that is putting the pictures front and center in my mind.

Or maybe it’s that I have a mad crush on Jeff Bridges.

Really, how can he be both in Tron and True Grit.  One is a sequel to a favorite childhood geek-tastic videogame movie.  The other is a freaking gorgeous Coen Brothers movie that I can’t imagine missing in the theater.

But despite all of the good things at the multiplex this year, I do want to make the pitch for a little home viewing.  There is a little documentary on food and its production called The Future of Food and you can watch it at your leisure on Hulu for free.

Sure, there are other good movies about food to watch, but this is available to stream right now for anyone with a computer and an internet connection.  It’s an 88 ½ minute break from your family. And when you return, you’ll be full of new and interesting conversational tidbits.

Consider watching it to be your Christmas present to me.

My Christmas present to you is an additional line of defense from a friend or loved one ruining a HoneyBaked ham.  Really, it is one of the saddest things to witness.  A similar sight was even featured in Apocalypse Now, and it was so appalling that it made the chef enlist for a tour of Vietnam:

They lined us all up in front of a hundred yards of prime rib — magnificent meat, beautifully marbled.. Then they started throwing it in these big cauldrons, all of it — boiling. I looked in, an’ it was turning gray. I couldn’t stand it. I went into radio school.

Now should you happen to witness a conversation about what to do with the Christmas HoneyBaked ham, you can point your hosts to my most recent post on the subject.  Or, should you think there may not be a computer or smart phone nearby, you can always print out a copy and carry it with you.  You know, just in case.

Merry Christmas.