Birthday Plans

I’ve met a handful of people who become parents and don’t lose a beat. Those people are amazing; however, they are not me. If this were a parenting blog, I would tell you about all the reasons and in all the ways my life has changed since having kids. But it’s not, so I won’t.

There is just one thing you need to know for now. Tomorrow is my birthday. And while part of me would love to go through Matt Baumgartner’s triple-threat alcohol-poisoning birthday challenge, with Albany John driving my limp body from Bombers to Olde English to Wolff’s for my free massive drinks, I’m going to pass. Not because I don’t think it sounds like fun to ride with my head dangling outside Albany Jane’s car window on a freezing December night in Albany. No. I’m going to pass because of the children.

Birthdays are a magical event for kids. Surely some child psychologist could explain the phenomenon to me. Because it’s not just their birthday that’s so special; kids get dreamy-eyed about anyone’s birthday. Maybe it has to do with cake.

So while you think about what to get me for this day of days, I’ll entertain you with my food-centric plans of what I intend to do on the big night with my family.

Going out to dinner would be too simple.

I take that back. Actually, it would be logistically implausible. The children have early bedtimes as they have to wake up early to get to their respective schools. And really, if I’m going to attempt an enjoyable meal out, I’ll leave the kids at home. It’s not that they can’t behave, or that I don’t want to expand their horizons. But parenting never stops, and it’s tiring.

Leaving them at home with a sitter isn’t a viable option either, as they will be crestfallen to miss the birthday festivities. So instead, I’ll be celebrating at home.

Since it’s a weeknight and Mrs. Fussy will be working all day, she can’t prepare dinner. And while I do enjoy cooking, it’s not like I have such an overwhelming passion for it that cooking my own birthday dinner would be a pleasure and not a chore.

So I’ll take the night off from cooking the family meal, and we’ll order in.

This almost never happens. Mostly because during the growing season we have a massive quantity of fresh vegetables that need to be eaten, and during the winter we have a stockpile of delicious meals ready to reheat in our chest freezer. But also because food destined for takeout suffers dramatically in transit. I’d much rather run out for slices than call and have a pizza delivered.

There is one kind of cuisine that can stand up to the abuse of delivery: barbecue. And it’s been far too long since I’ve had Sean Custer deliver his food to my door. I’m already dreaming about his brisket.

I also picked up three special cheeses from The Cheese Traveler at the Delmar Farmers Market last Saturday. They were all made in Vermont of raw milk. One is a linen wrapped Jersey cow’s milk, one is a semi-soft washed-rind goat’s milk, and the third is a blue made from sheep’s milk. They are called Pawlett, Manchester and Seaver Brook, respectively.

And naturally, it wouldn’t be a birthday without a cake.

While I did have to order my own birthday cake, and I’ll be the one who ultimately picks it up, I really let fate and Claudia decide upon the centerpiece of the celebration. Claudia is the baker and owner of Crisan in Albany. They make some amazing cakes. Now, if you order far enough in advance they’ll make you whatever you want. The closer you get to the event, the fewer choices you have.

All I asked for was something chocolate. I’m told there will also be raspberry and cream cheese. But I’ve learned to trust Claudia, so I’m sure it will be wonderful. Regardless of what flavor the cake, filling and icing might be, a cake from Crisan is inarguably more festive than cupcakes from anywhere.

There are still a few last minute details to work out, like where the cheese falls in the grand scheme of the meal, and what we’ll have to drink. Also, I may not have time, but I’d love to run out to Harvest Spirits and pick up a Rare Pear to go with the blue cheese for an after cake treat. For all I know the distillery could be all out. But it’s worth a call.

After all, it’s still important to have something for the adults to enjoy after the kids are in bed.