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Lindt Truffles are Disgusting

December 17, 2013

Something has to be done. You see, I hate most advertising and try to avoid as much of it as possible. Probably that has something to do with working in the industry for so many years. Those that make a toxic product generally are wise enough to steer clear of it in their personal lives. How many cigarette executives do you think smoke tobacco these days?

When I signed up for a WordPress blog a few years ago, there was some mention of the possibility of a few occasional ad placements. And at the time, even those would only be served to people who weren’t logged on WordPress users. Since I’m not trying to make any money at this game it seemed foolish to spend cash to insure against advertising placements that didn’t exist.

Then, several months ago, ads finally started to appear. They weren’t that obtrusive. It took the form of a still from a video underneath every post. Most of the videos were fairly entertaining, and they went to support a platform that was doing right by me. No harm, no foul.

Recently though, I am noticing a real change in ad placements on the FLB, and it’s making me assess my options moving forward. Maybe you’ve observed a new ad unit at the top of the page and a subsequent one at the top of the right hand column. Perhaps if those ads were for Chipotle or Applegate Farms I might not be so upset.

However, they are not in support of a product in which I believe. No, they are for Lindt chocolate truffles. So since they are so interested in my audience, perhaps now is a good time for me to explain exactly what I think of their product.

Let’s not mince terms. Lindt truffles are disgusting.

I’ve never understood what people see in them, nor why these chocolates are seen as a quality product. All the same, the company had a store in the relatively ritzy Stuyvesant Plaza upstate and maintains a location on the totally ritzy Palmer Square in Princeton, New Jersey.

But these are not quality confections. They just aren’t. And I know that people love to take a bite through the shell of one of their truffles and delight in its silky chocolate interior. I can’t blame them. That textural contrast is part of the joy of chocolate truffles.

Except when quality chocolatiers make their chocolate ganache interiors, they are made entirely of chocolate and cream. If you wanted to cut in a little bit of real butter, I wouldn’t hold it against you. But that’s not the Lindt way. Let’s take a look at the ingredients of their dark chocolate truffles, shall we:

Dark Sweet Chocolate [Sugar, chocolate, cocoa butter, skim milk, milkfat, soya lecithin (emulsifier), vanillin (artificial flavoring)], vegetable oil (coconut, palm kernel), sugar, chocolate, cocoa butter, milk, soya lecithin (emulsifier), barley malt

What’s the first thing that jumps out to you?

Not all chocolate has soy lecithin which is likely GMO, but that’s small potatoes. We start getting serious about crap quality when it is revealed that Lindt uses artificial vanilla flavoring instead of real vanilla. But the wheels come off the cart at the reveal that instead of being thinned with cream that the “chocolate ganache” is made with vegetable oil.

Let’s contrast that with how Lindt likes to portray themselves:

Creating fine chocolate is an art that requires great skill, dedication and passion. The Master Chocolatiers of Lindt are experts of this craft. For more than 165 years, Lindt has been developing innovative chocolate recipes with meticulous craftsmanship, resulting in superior tasting, high quality premium chocolate.

If indeed there are Master Chocolatiers at Lindt, their passion has left the building a long time ago. Instead, they are selling industrially produced plonk under the guise of craftsmanship and quality. These Master Chocolatiers should be ashamed of themselves. Although like Don Draper, I’m sure they are somehow able to sleep at night on a bed made of money.

Look, you may like how these individually wrapped orbs of chocolate, artificial flavor and vegetable oil taste. And if they don’t turn your stomach, all the better for you. That means you can get a chocolate fix without having to shell out a little more for the actual good stuff.

You know, the stuff that’s truly made with meticulous craftsmanship, by hand, in order to provide an actual high quality premium chocolate (instead of one that just pretends that it is).

Maybe it’s good that Lindt has been advertising on the FLB. Hopefully it can serve as a reminder to you. A reminder that their truffles are awful, and that they are to be avoided.

23 Comments leave one →
  1. December 17, 2013 12:07 pm

    LALALA, I CAN’T HEAR YOU!

    No, but for real. The vanillin is sad-making. But find me a truffle that satisfies my fat and sweet teeth like Lindt’s cappucino truffle.

    WHY DO THEY MAKE IT TASTE SO GOOD?!

  2. Jamie permalink
    December 17, 2013 12:42 pm

    The handmade goat cheese truffles at New World are amazing. I’d take one of those over a boat load of Lindt any day of the week.

    They’re easy to make at home too.

    http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/george-duran/chocolate-goat-cheese-truffles-recipe/index.html

  3. Jamie permalink
    December 17, 2013 12:43 pm

    That’s obviously not the New World truffle recipe, but it’s quite close and very good.

  4. December 17, 2013 1:05 pm

    Two things… Applegate Farms products, by and large (I’ve tried a few now..), suck. They suck. I get what they are trying to do, but good intentions do not make up for a crappy product. They reinforce the notion that “responsible” or “healthful” foods have to taste like crap. Also, that “nitrate/nitrite free” or “uncured” stuff is nonsense. Utter nonsense.

    Secondly, blindly railing against GMOs is worse of an idea then those people who won’t vaccinate their kids. If you want to say,”I don’t like the methods of agriculture involved in some GMO crops (hosing down fields of Monsanto corn with Roundup and what not)”, then fine. But to rail against GMO crops in generral from our chubby, well fed high horses while the developing world starves is vile behavior. Absolutely vile.

    • December 17, 2013 1:18 pm

      Also, I am well aware of the propaganda lines from both sides of the GMO issue. I don’t need them reiterated, lol.

    • December 17, 2013 1:49 pm

      1) People like crap. Kids especially. Remember, mine put ketchup on hot dogs. If they are going to defile a hot dog like that, they are getting Applegate’s because they are made with organic grassfed beef (and I love them for that). Also at TJs they are pretty darn reasonably priced.

      2) Agreed. Nitrate/Nitrite free is a load of crap. The rule of thumb is that if the meat is cooked and it’s pink, it’s cured and contains nitrates/nitrites. That said, I’d rather mine come from celery and sea salt than be synthesized in a lab out of God knows what (even if that means I’m getting more nitrates per bite. That’s me. Others feel differently.

      3) The GMOs on the market today aren’t feeding the poor and hungry of the world. The ones on the market today largely take the form of crap ingredients snuck into American versions of products (available internationally without the dreck), and are used to help bolster corporate profits (not lower prices). That and animal feed. We’re talking corn, soy, cotton and canola. To a lesser extent there is the recent issue with sugar. And in Hawaii they are battling with papaya. There are some other concerns about alfalfa.

      But the subtext of all of that GMO talk is two fold. One, as you stated, ”I don’t like the methods of agriculture involved in some GMO crops (hosing down fields of Monsanto corn with Roundup and what not).” Two, “I don’t like the notion that manufacturers are putting synthetically produced ingredients in people’s food (with the government’s explicit consent) and not informing consumers on the label.”

      In theory GMO foods can save the world. In theory science can cure rare and terrible diseases that destroy the lives of families everywhere. But in practice we have Round-Up Ready corn and Viagra.

      • December 18, 2013 3:05 pm

        Here is my problem. By making GMO a toxic phrase, across the board, you remove any chance of a politician wasting the political capital needed to address any real issue relating to the topic. Any politician says – “Hey, maybe we should devote some government money to GMO research…” or “Hey, maybe we should take a look at the issue of how patents for GMO crops should work…” – then you get the idiots descending from their dorm rooms, drum circles, food blogs (haha!) grabbing their pitch-forks and railing that the said politician – “supports GMOs and is a corporate patsy for MONSANTO!!!!, Ahrgle-Bargle!!!”

        Any discourse that stands in the way of some of the most important and potentially beneficial scientific advances in the history of humankind baffles me.

      • December 18, 2013 3:23 pm

        Also, here is all you need to know about Nitrate production – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sodium_nitrate Apparently, it is mostly mined in Chile… Still, being afraid of chemistry just for the sake of being afraid of chemistry is strange to me.

  5. December 17, 2013 2:52 pm

    Saw this yesterday. The vanillin in artificial vanilla is chemically identical to that found in natural vanilla, as I’m sure you’re aware. And I’m sure you don’t care one iota, either.

    http://sweets.seriouseats.com/2013/12/taste-test-is-better-vanilla-extract-worth-the-price.html?ref=pop_serious_eats

  6. December 17, 2013 3:35 pm

    Huh. I always wondered why the texture of their centers was so different from any other truffle I’ve had. Now I know. Ick.

  7. December 18, 2013 3:05 pm

    I was unable to enjoy a Drake’s Ring-Ding or Funny Bone again after I noticed about 15 years ago that the first or second ingredient was vegetable oil. Blech.

  8. Chocolate fiend, although don't care for it on bacon permalink
    December 20, 2013 3:55 pm

    I just checked my box of lindt truffels and they are made with real vanilla, maybe they do them differently over here (UK). I love real high quality chocolates but I also love Cadbury cream eggs and lindt. They are all different things, tasty in their own ways. I think its cool to enjoy lindt just remind yourself advertising distorts the truth so don’t be misled. And don’t forget even Hershey’s passes for chocolate sometimes.

  9. Hello permalink
    May 20, 2014 4:49 am

    I think Lindt chocolate taste awful.

  10. Evan permalink
    May 21, 2014 12:15 pm

    What is mass production? I really hate when people jump on products which use artificial ingredients. Do you have any fucking clue how expensive for them (and the consumers) it would be to manufacture millions of those every year with REAL cream and vanilla extract? I bet if they made a batch substituting the real thing you couldn’t even tell the fucking difference. Please QFT.

  11. February 9, 2015 11:17 pm

    Who cares. they are freaking delicious. If I wanted something good for me, I wouldn’t be eating chocolate!

  12. barnslayer permalink
    August 23, 2015 5:18 pm

    Individually foil wrapped all nice and pretty. See, you can polish a turd.

  13. Marie permalink
    January 1, 2016 4:33 pm

    What a sad person u are. How can u hate on lindor truffles u snob

  14. February 24, 2016 10:34 pm

    I actually barely have tasted one the other day after just ignoring them my whole life.

    BIG MISTAKE. HUGE.

    These things are disgusting. D I S G U S T I N G

    The milk chocolate is ridiculously sweet, even by European candy standards, and is has the most horrible soft texture. Chocolate should be velvety, but not so velvety it’s like a quarter-cooked, runny egg.

    And then there’s just some mystery flavor to the whole thing, I can’t even pinpoint. Like an artificial sweetener taste.

    ugh. AND I had the misfortune of also tasting a raspberry one, which has to be the worst thing they could have done.

    When Hershey’s tastes better than your chocolate, you’re doing something WRONG.

    /rant over. I just can’t believe I see them selling this stuff next to Godiva, or even Ghirardelli, and it’s so icky. I’m thinking maybe the dark chocolate might be better, but I’m not holding my breath.

  15. June 10, 2016 4:04 pm

    Nah, their dark chocolate has almost no chocolate flavor. It’s all texture, it’s slip, there’s no flavor there. That’s why they can sell it dirt-cheap at Costco.

  16. A fellow Lindt hater permalink
    December 23, 2016 12:58 pm

    I thought I was the only one that hates these things. Every time I eat Lindt it makes me feel sick and want to vomit. The shell is kind okay but the inside is awful awful awful

  17. Shazz permalink
    March 23, 2017 3:33 pm

    I couldn’t give a monkeys what they made of. They are the best chocolate out there and I have tried a lot….. Not as if I ate chocolate all day its a treat.

  18. john permalink
    May 18, 2017 2:34 pm

    Yanks. Producing the most vile chocolate in the world since 1900 and saying lindt is disgusting 🤣🤣🤣🤣 couldn’t make it up. I’ll keep my lindt over your vomit tasting hersheys anyway thanks you cretinous philistines

  19. Seth permalink
    July 22, 2017 7:42 pm

    Another example of someone attacking something for no other reason than to make themselves look refined, plus someone who is willing to share half truths to make these….criticisms. First point I will make is the usual truffles come in a multitude of flavors, some are good, some are not as good, but I have never once heard someone who likes the taste if chocolate say “thats disgusting”. It doesnt happen because they are delicious. But let’s look past that and get to the “facts” of this blog. Those ingredients listed are correct…for the cheaper truffles, but if you did some research you would see the master choclatiers candies are 100% natural(minus preservatives of course). So to insult the level of passion in a group of these people without disclosing the whole truth shows your true intintions…to troll. It reminds me of this video that shows supposed wine connesours. They gave them arbor mist, but claimed it as a high end wine, and took high end wine and claimed it as arbor mist, and sure enough they insulted the quality wine and praised the crap. I bet in a blind taste test you would fail miserably.

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