A Christmas Present for Fussy

This is what Christmas in Miami and California feels like. I should know, I have many more of those under my belt than these crazy cold upstate winters. Yesterday, I went out on my beer run in sandals. The beers I had wanted were actually sold out, so it seems like if I’m going to get serious about this beer thing, it may involve some amount of standing in line.

Soon, I’ll be packing the car with a stupid quantity of beer bottles and driving down to Pennsylvania. I can’t remember if the rest stop McDonalds and Starbucks are open on Christmas Day, so I’ll just have to find out the hard way.

At the very least, perhaps we can find some Chinese food on the way to Bedford.

Now, this is just a guess, but I’m going to go out on a limb and imagine that if you celebrate Christmas you probably have gotten a gift or two this morning. As far as I understand it, that means you’ve been nice. Naughty folks get coal. Clever naughty folks get coal, and turn it into New-Haven-style coal fired pizza.

My Christmas present was finding this list that will make sure you all stay on Santa’s good side.

You’ll have to forgive me, because I know so little about Christmas celebrations it hurts. But I’m pretty sure that today is the day that people gather for the festive meal. Movies? I think people also go to the movies today. Although perhaps that is a vestige of the past.

Now, what festive meal is complete without a cheese platter? I mean, seriously.

Why I didn’t discover this article when it came out in June of this year is still a mystery to me. Perhaps nobody forwarded it to me directly, because I’ve been talking about many of these issues for years. But still, it warms my heart to see a site like Serious Eats publishing a story called 10 Common Crimes Against Cheese You Don’t Have to Commit.

Maybe you remember my post from back in 2009 called, Crimes Against Cheese: Cheesediggers

The way the headline was structured makes me think that I had intended to elaborate on the theme of Crimes Against Cheese. In that first story I covered a few topics, including the proper cutting of cheese wedges and the importance of keeping cutting tools segregated. Of course, the cheesediggers were especially vilified for scooping out the paste of brie and leaving hollowed out rinds behind in their place.

All of these are covered in the Serious Eats piece. As is my longstanding rant against cheese being wrapped in plastic.

They address a few complaints I haven’t covered at length but wholeheartedly support. Letting cheese come up to proper temperature, keeping cheese out of the freezer, and finding uses for leftover cheese are all important.

I hadn’t really considered that anyone might return cheese to the refrigerator that wasn’t covered with some form of wrapping. That seemed obvious. But I didn’t know about the effects of refrigeration on fresh mozzarella, so it felt great to read the story and actually learn something new.

More than anything else, I’m thrilled that this topic is getting the attention it deserves. And, of course, that Santa’s favorite people can stay on his nice list by not violating the 10 Commandments of Cheese Etiquette.

So enjoy the day. But don’t forget, that elf on the shelf is always watching you. Don’t let him catch you committing crimes against cheese, or maybe next year instead of a HoneyBaked Ham you’ll be cooking up a coal fired pizza.