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Fatty McFatterson

October 26, 2016

Yeah. So, I’m off the wagon.

Here’s the good news. I’ve been mostly keeping up with Yoga. And you may say that doesn’t count as exercise, because it rarely makes me sweat. That’s true. But man, it’s so relaxing. Plus I feel great for days after going. Not to mention that after Yoga, I just happen to be next to the best beer and cheese store in the Capital Region.

Ready for a shocker? I even considered doing some exercise program that would actually make me sweat. Just this week I popped into a local Orange Theory to hear their pitch. The classes look like fun, but I may not need quite so much motivation in my cardiovascular workouts.

Baby steps.
Baby steps.

Now you may be asking, “Daniel? What’s up with all the exercise? I thought you already met your diet goals and are the picture of health.” And you would have a point. But now that I’ve had a taste of the delicious fatty foods I’ve been missing, I want more. And more costs. And the gym is where you pay. In sweat.

Wait. That’s Flashdance. This is about the food that’s putting me over the edge.

I guess there are some people who exercise because they want to be fast, or strong, or thin. I want none of those things. All I want is to be able to eat all the things I want without my doctor putting me on meds.

So butter has crept back into my diet. Oh butter. And last night I attempted to make a spaghetti squash that the kids would enjoy. So I put an irresponsible amount of butter and salt into the pot. Little Miss Fussy had a clue what I was up to, because she said that if she closed her eyes and smelled the squash, it just smelled like butter.

Love that girl. She’s got a great nose on her. But still the texture of spaghetti squash didn’t go over with the children. So guess who ate all that buttery squash. Oh yeah. Although I have to admit, it may have been even a little too buttery for me.

And after dinner, it took all my self control to stay at home and not go out for second dinner. But man, I really want those chicken livers at Lark + Lily. Maybe I can make it out for second dinner tomorrow.

The thing was that at first dinner yesterday, I was still full from lunch. It wasn’t that what I ate was so big, it was just so damn satisfying.

For years I’ve had my eye on Nibble’s deep fried pocket sandwiches made from their potato doughnut dough. And yesterday, the stars finally aligned and I got to try one. Their standard version comes with caramelized onions, mashed potatoes, and cheese.

I’m a stickler for caramelized onions. They really need to be deeply browned and caramelized, but most are not. These were fantastic.

No, the purist would not be happy with the idea of a sweet and savory knish. But the purist would be missing out on all this deep fried deliciousness. Not only that, but it’s impossible to feel down or blue when you are shoving your pie hole full of potatoes. They are such a happy food, and I enjoyed every bite.

The knish did need mustard to balance out the sweetness. But fortunately it came with packets of mustard. The pocket also came with a plastic fork and knife. Should you head down to Troy and order one, don’t use those. They cheapen the experience. Pick it up with your hands like God intended.

Now I want more deep fried sandwiches. And that’s a dangerous thought for someone like me. Because I might just make that happen. In fact, I’m totally going to make it happen. Next month’s Tavern Time is going to be at Swifty’s and we’re going to get some deep fried burgers. Not to mention that Yelp is going to have an Elite Event in November which involves deep fried turkeys.

Oh boy.

Yeah. So I’m going to find a way to make myself sweat. And I’m not talking about the meat sweats either. This may call for some kind of elliptical machine, or another voluntary torture device of the modern age.

Now it’s off to some pre-lunch yoga. Anyone want to join me for beer and cheese afterwards?

9 Comments leave one →
  1. October 26, 2016 9:07 am

    Not to be a killjoy, but: you cannot do nearly enough exercise to burn off the calories in the deliciousness you are planning to consume! I know this from years of trying – diet trumps exercise

  2. October 26, 2016 9:26 am

    Dude. First of all, I get the Fatty McFatterson thing. Give me all the carbs topped with all the sugar and all the fat. UGH. I am interested in these buttery spaghetti squash noodles, though. I’m not sure how I feel about it. I generally feel that butter and cheeses just don’t fare well with that squash. If I may humbly recommend another preparation method (that we had last night) that is actually even Alex-approved…your kids may dig it. Spaghetti squash is so weird and bland on its own that I find myself needing to give it spice and depth. I almost always use either a vodka sauce or a diablo tomato sauce, with maybe a dollop of pesto. I also will cook some Shady Brook Farms hot Italian turkey sausage in the sauce before mixing everything together. The sausage (which you could obviously sub for regular hot Italian sausage) really helps to balance out the flavor, and the tomato sauce is strong enough that any funk from the squash is very much covered. It’s still a pretty low-cal/healthy meal, even without the butter, and even WITH the turkey sausage.

    • Grrrr permalink
      October 27, 2016 5:30 am

      I love the flavor of spaghetti squash and find that just a bit of butter and a pinch of salt, pepper and garlic makes it taste extra yummy. If I find myself trying to mask the taste of something then I just don’t eat it anymore. To each their own I guess.

  3. October 26, 2016 9:54 am

    That knish sounds realy good but I think you have Fame and Flashdance crossed.

    • October 26, 2016 9:59 am

      Ha! You are totally right. The 80s are now so far away. It’s all kind of a jumble inside my noggin.

  4. October 26, 2016 11:26 am

    Now I want a knish. I have very fond memories of NYC, $1.00 in my pocket (YES, it was a long time ago), hungry, treating myself to a giant potato knish from one of the street vendors, slathered with spicy mustard. Never had one as good since.

  5. October 26, 2016 12:54 pm

    A friend of mine, who runs, rows crew competitively, and does olympic lifting as cross-training (at a CrossFit gym, though she swears she won’t succumb … I don’t believe her) said she does all of this “so I can eat like a fatass.” I nodded in agreement and clinked beer glasses as we both took another bite of our loaded up burgers … hey, we were carb-loading for a half marathon the next day! ;)

    Anyway, while I have heard good things about OrangeTheory, can I put in a plug for my mom and pop gym in Delmar? Foundry Fitness is terrific. Check out their facebook page for more info on any deals they are running.

    • October 26, 2016 12:55 pm

      Also, yoga is most definitely exercise and is really good for you. I just happen to hate it.

  6. Grrrr permalink
    October 27, 2016 5:43 am

    In line with something you eat with your hands… have you ever tried the sausage roll at I Love pizza (4th St, Troy)? It’s their little known hidden secret. Sausage, peppers and onions all cooked into a pizza roll crust. I don’t know if the bake or deep fry those delicious rolls but they taste amazing. They sever it with a side of marinara but I bring it home and dunk it in mustard. Totally off topic but I had to mention these!

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