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Quacks Like a Duck

January 9, 2018

So this is all kinds of stupid.

Is it stupider than scheduling the Tour de NY Style Pizza on St. Patrick’s Day?


That was an oversight, but I like the idea of counterprogramming the madness. Although I may also be able to move it to Saturday, March 10. I’ll let you know.

The Tour de Pizza date selection was an accident. What I’m doing now is on purpose. And I kind of love it. But I also know better. What can I tell you? I’m a sucker for the power of suggestion.

Yesterday, I saw someone who I know and otherwise trust posting on social media about a beverage she was making. More than anything, it sounded pretty delicious. At least to me. The drink was a warm combination of turmeric, cayenne pepper, lemon, maple syrup, and raw apple cider vinegar.

It’s supposed to rid your body of toxins.

That’s a phrase I have never been able to take seriously. The same is true for the fight against inflammation. Some also seem to think that this concoction will help reduce belly fat. And maybe they are all right. Or maybe it’s all just hogwash.

What’s funny is how an idea can plant itself in your head.

I’ve largely been trying to stay away from diet talk these days. I’m sick of whining about it. Especially given how ridiculous my diet actually is in practice. But I am starting to wondering how much of my late 2017 weight loss successes were actually due to the raw apple cider vinegar in all that coleslaw I was eating.

My results lately have been a little lackluster, and learning of this new magical drink, it occurred to me that perhaps I just need a little more of the mother in of me.

It’s totally ridiculous. And so is the notion that one just needs to throw these ingredients into a pot willy nilly to make this delicious and warming tonic. Because as much as anything, that’s the reason I pulled the trigger on this. Sometimes I want something that’s not coffee or tea, but still warming and invigorating.

Turmeric tonic would seem to fill the bill. It just happens to be bright yellow. Like a duck. Which goes quack, and coincidentally sums of my opinions on the functional claims proponents of this drink make on its behalf.

I had hoped to reduce the grit and rawness of dried turmeric by throwing it into the glass first, and then making a paste out of it with the maple syrup. The paste worked, but then when I tried to thin that paste out with hot water, the grainy turmeric powder just redistributed itself in the cup.

The original recipe called for a cup of hot water for the tablespoon of vinegar and quarter teaspoon of turmeric.


Who wants all that liquid? And for that matter, a tablespoon of maple syrup seems awfully sweet. Real 100% pure maple syrup is still sugar. It may be less processed than the stuff in soda, but its effect on the body is pretty much the same. So I’m sticking with a scant teaspoon, and hope to even reduce that over time.

After building the drink in a small four ounce cup, I just knocked the whole thing back in a few sips.

It was totally invigorating. It was indeed delicious. It also left my tongue a telltale shade of yellow. Look, I’ve been a vinegar lover for a long long time. So I’m going to do it again. Hopefully you’ll still be able to recognize me when all my inflammation is gone, I have no more belly fat, and I’m totally toxin free.

Really, my goal here is to lose a bit more weight so I can start eating more toxins. So if I’m successful, at least the last part should take care of itself.

Anyone else doing anything remotely as silly?

2 Comments leave one →
  1. EPT permalink
    January 9, 2018 10:51 am

    I believe it has been well established that these detoxes do nothing for belly fat. But if you enjoy this drink concoction, Salute!

  2. Kerosena permalink
    January 10, 2018 10:55 am

    I take a probiotic every day. I have absolutely no idea if it does anything for me.

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