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Father’s Day Abstinence

June 15, 2018

Father’s Day is always a struggle. My father lives over a thousand miles away. We don’t talk to each other very much, and we see each other even less. It’s not ideal. Sunday, I will call him. Maybe he’ll pick up the phone. But maybe I’ll just have to leave a message.

It’s Father’s Day, after all. That’s what you do.

The crazy part about getting older is that I’m now a father too. I know that my daughter has been working on some kind of gift for weeks. Most likely it’s made out of paper and tape, and incredibly elaborate. I’m not expecting anything from my son. As it turns out, there’s nothing I want.

Which isn’t entirely true. I want a new pair of sandals, but those I need to buy myself. Looking at the Delaware Supply Instagram feed recently, I realized there was a bottle of beer they brought in that I wanted to try. By now, it’s probably gone.

If I’m lucky, I’ll get a nap. But I’m not sure that’s going to fly. What are you getting your dad?

In theory, this is working out exactly like it should, right? One should give what you would like to receive. I want nothing. So I’m giving nothing.

I do remember buying my father gifts in the past, but I cannot recall if they were for Father’s Day or his birthday in October. Wine is the present that stands out the most. I remember buying bottles of Le Cigare Volant. I might have even picked him up some of his favorite Etude pinot noir at one point. Although I might have also simply bought the Etude for myself and thought of him while I enjoyed it. Memory is a funny thing.

My own kids are too young to buy me wine. Besides, our wine cubby is full after a recent purchase from Twenty-Two Second Street. I didn’t write up the mixed case I picked up for spring and summer, but the first bottle of the German white I bought was delightful and packed with vibrant acidity.

Heck, I don’t know if my dad still even drinks wine. Last I heard, the beverage he raved about was Guinness stout. But apparently the domestic stuff doesn’t hold a candle to what you can get in Ireland.

In my heart of hearts I imagine there has to be a better stout brewed in America. At my son’s bar mitzvah I made sure we had Brown’s oatmeal stout for my dad to try. But at a certain point, one has to realize the power of brands and taste memory. Which means, no matter how many different craft stouts I send his way, they will all be deficient because they are not Guinness.

However, all of that may have changed.

If my kids were of beer buying age, they could buy me any kind of oude geuze from Belgium, and I’d be happy. But my beer closet is pretty filled up these days too. Really, what I need is to spend a day drinking through some of what I’ve collected, perhaps while making a batch of chicken stock, and taking a nap.

We may spend the time going strawberry hunting though. Which isn’t a bad compromise. The strawberry season is preciously short. Have you heard about the strawberry festival on Saturday? But that doesn’t work for us. We have an epic lunch planned for tomorrow.

My goal is to focus on the simple pleasures. Try to treat myself well, and enjoy some time with the kids. At this age, Father’s Day seems to be more about them than me anyhow.

Although maybe, just maybe, I can figure out a way to get a deep fried burger in there too.

8 Comments leave one →
  1. June 15, 2018 9:28 am

    A nice thoughtful and reflective post. I wish my dad was still here but he’s long gone. But …. my daughter is taking me out tonight for curry and beer, it’s a ploy to keep me off the wine 🍷👍

  2. June 15, 2018 9:41 am

    “In my heart of hearts I imagine there has to be a better stout brewed in America. At my son’s bar mitzvah I made sure we had Brown’s oatmeal stout for my dad to try. But at a certain point, one has to realize the power of brands and taste memory. Which means, no matter how many different craft stouts I send his way, they will all be deficient because they are not Guinness.” <—- loved that. Little turns of phrase like the last sentence here is why you are one of my favorite writers.

  3. June 15, 2018 9:42 am

    I think the best thing you can do for Dad is take him out for a nice meal and pick up the tab. (Unless he insists on grilling/smoking in which case you should get him a really nice piece of meat.)

  4. June 15, 2018 9:46 am

    Happy Father’s Day Daniel, definitely treat yourself to a Swifty’s Buffalo Burger.

    My wife has invited her father over to our place for dinner on Saturday. He’s Italian, and she suggested I make sausage and peppers on the Blackstone Griddle. That’s an excellent idea and hopefully, I can make it over to Garafolo’s to grab some of their excellent Italian sausages.

    My dad died more than 15 years ago, so Father’s day for me is a day that my wife and daughter treat me to something special. This year I asked them to gift me with a trip to The Lantern in Wassaic. They’ve obliged, and I’m already fantasizing about how much of their fantastic pizza I’m going to gorge myself on. The Lantern has a great tap list. Beer will be part of the equation. They have a huge patio, and the weather is supposed to be warm, we’ll be eating pizza al fresco for sure.

    By the way, for those that are unaware, The Lantern is about 90 minutes south of Albany. It sits in a beautiful, picturesque valley, and it’s family friendly. I can’t wait.

    http://wassaiclanterninn.com/

  5. -R. permalink
    June 15, 2018 10:11 am

    Nice post. A rather sad day for me as I lost my father late last year. Enjoy your parents while you can.

  6. June 15, 2018 5:27 pm

    I drank a bottle of Le Cigare Volant just last night (I’m a member of the Bonny Doon wine club.) I had help:)

  7. Dave permalink
    June 19, 2018 5:40 am

    What’s the deal with the now closed Chester’s Smokehouse on Watervliet Ave.?

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