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Crispy Chickpeas

February 19, 2019

One of these days we’ll talk a bit more about some of the larger issues I see behind diets designed to help people lose weight. Everyone has to find their own way, and do what’s best for their own health and wellbeing. So while I may try to turn people against fake versions of real foods, if you want to trim down and you’ve found something that works for you, mazel tov!

My approach has been eating smaller quantities of real food, and prioritizing plants. For some, that may seem like madness, because instead of snacking of carb free pork rinds, I’m munching on carb heavy vegetables.

Blah, blah, blah. Say what you will, but the weight is off and it’s been staying off, even now that I’ve reintroduced beer back into the system! Huzzah! And there was great rejoicing.

The problem with vegetables is that they aren’t terribly convenient, and the ones that are convenient aren’t very good. Mrs. Fussy eats so many of those bagged baby carrots, I don’t know how she does it. For her, I think it’s a form of self punishment. I mean seriously, does anyone actually enjoy bagged baby carrots? If you tell me you enjoy dragging them through store bought hummus, I may scream.

All I ask is that at some point soon you try dragging a freshly cut carrot through homemade hummus, so you can know what you’re giving up for the sake of convenience.

Thankfully, there is a plant-based source of food that’s both convenient and delicious, but I’ve found making this treat at home to be surprisingly hard. That is until I finally found someone who unlocked the secret to crispy chickpeas.

Meet Sam. She has a lot of vegan cooking videos. And I’m sure she’s a lovely person. But there’s only so much happiness and enthusiasm I can take. My threshold turns out to be less than the length of one of her videos. But thankfully, the recipes are included at the end of her blog posts. So you can simply read all about her technique, instead of having to endure the torrent of rainbow glitter daggers piercing your ears and eyeballs.

Maybe that’s a little bit harsh. Especially for someone who nailed an easy foolproof way to make chickpeas crispy and delicious in the oven. Here’s the video for the brave.

And here’s the recipe for those who trusted my earlier analysis.

It turns out the secret is to effectively pre-dry the beans in the oven first. It’s brilliant. I tried making this before from another recipe, and you wouldn’t believe how fastidiously I tried to dry the chickpeas. It was ridiculous. Drying produce is one of my biggest pet peeves, and it was the thing that kept me off of salad for years and years and years. Seriously, if I’m told that an ingredient has to be really dry, I’m not going to be satisfied until it’s actually dry. Try that with lettuce sometime and see how well your sanity holds up.

Well, 375 Fahrenheit degrees for about thirty minutes seems to do the trick. It’s important to move those chickpeas around for a bit, so they don’t stick. But that’s no big deal. Occasionally walk by the oven, and give that pan a shake.

Once they are dry, in a metal bowl I tossed them with a bit of olive oil, salt, and whatever seasoning blend I desired. You can really take these in any direction. Just don’t be shy with the salt, and just use enough oil to coat the beans.

Then they get dumped back onto the same sheet, thrown back into the same oven, and are cooked until they are done. How do you know? Grab one and see if it crunches.

Dang, these are good. And so freaking easy. They are convenient. They are satisfying. And they are a 100% whole, real food. You can make these as a background activity. If you aren’t interested in coming up with your own spice blends, get to Penzey’s and just use one of theirs.

You may curse me for sharing the video. But you’ll thank me for the recipe. However, you really should be thinking Sam. She may be strangely cheerful, yet she’s definitely brilliant.

5 Comments leave one →
  1. Dave permalink
    February 19, 2019 12:58 pm

    Or buy sacks of crispy chickpeas already done at the Indian market.

  2. Ryan H. permalink
    February 19, 2019 8:43 pm

    That video has the YouTuber knob turned to 11. Also, “Supposably.” Good tips, though.

  3. -R. permalink
    February 20, 2019 12:08 pm

    If I ever become that ‘happy’ you have permission to put me out of my misery. That is all.

  4. February 20, 2019 1:06 pm

    You are telling me you have roasted chickpeas in the oven for 30 minutes at 375 F and they have not burned to a crisp? That is a question.

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