Hide the Granola

We all have our secrets.

Personally, when I feel guilty about something, my instinct is to share it. Let’s get whatever secret shame is out there into the universe, so then there is nothing to fear. The blog is a great resource for such efforts, and I confess things on here all the time.

Which isn’t to say that I don’t keep things hidden. I totally hide things. Most recently I hid some luggage from Mrs. Fussy. Well, it’s not so much that I hid it as I put it away. Naturally, I put it away in the places where I thought it belonged. But she could not find it. And actually, that was a good thing.

At least for awhile.

When Mrs. Fussy opened the foyer closet door and finally located the luggage on its top shelf, I got an angry text. However, the suitcases are still there. It’s the best place for the bags. And all I had to do was relegate Little Miss Fussy’s baking kit to the cooking supplies overflow bin in the garage.

But sometimes I hide things from Mrs. Fussy for other reasons.

On Friday nights I cannot control myself around challah, cultured french butter, and Maldon salt. Seriously. I do my best. But if left to my own devices, I’d finish the loaf. It’s even possible that I might scrape up any remaining butter with my fingers and lick the butter plate. So at some point toward the end of the meal, before I have caved into my darkest instincts, I ask someone to put the challah and butter away.

We all have foods which we eat in mass quantities for comfort. This is why Mrs. Fussy has prohibited Stewart’s peanut butter pandemonium ice cream from being stocked in our freezer. If it were around, that carton’s days would be numbered. With no ice cream in the house to binge upon, Mrs. Fussy has found the next best thing.

Any guesses?

Here are some hints. It’s creamy. It’s sweet. It’s got some crunch to it. You can serve it in a bowl and eat it with a spoon. One could see how it might scratch the same itch as ice cream, but in reality it’s much much healthier.

It’s yogurt with honey and granola.

There’s no way we’re getting these three foods out of the house. They are our staples. I try and have at least a few spoonfuls of yogurt every day, and have taken to sprinkling a little bit of granola on top. And our son enjoys peanut butter mixed with honey, either in the form of a sandwich, or just scooped into a bowl.

The only issue is that when Mrs. Fussy is on a yogurt, honey, and granola bender, she can pack away a lot of the stuff. Don’t forget, she’s a runner. And runners have the kind of metabolism that I dream about.

So here’s my confession: I bought a package of some extra special granola, and I’ve hidden it away from Mrs. Fussy. Which isn’t to say I don’t want her to have nice things. In fact, I bought her some pretty fancy granola too. Hopefully it will distract her from looking too hard for the granola I squirreled away.

The only problem is that I eat these sweet treats in such limited quantity, this one special bag is probably going to be sitting around for a long time. That increases the chances that Mrs. Fussy will stumble upon it by accident. And if she does, I’m doomed.

Well, I’m not doomed. But my granola is going to be history.

There is only so long one can expect to keep a delicious food hidden away. At some point, others will eventually discover it. And that’s okay. Especially since Mrs. Fussy does such a bang up job of saving me from myself almost every Friday night.