Not One Peep

Ecosystems need bottom feeders. They are part of the circle of life. They keep things moving, and help to prevent waste from piling up.

I’m not always a bottom feeder. There are some things I buy when they are hot, new, and premium priced. Beer is a great example of this. Some beers are more perishable than others, and I’ve learned the hard way that if you wait for a well regarded hoppy brew to make it to the discount bin, the beer you buy may be a mere shadow of what it once was.

On the other hand, when I was out in California, I was most definitely a bottom feeder of the wine market. There were so many places producing so much wine, that occasionally inventories had to be dumped. These unwanted bottles found their way to a place called Grocery Outlet, where I would try to figure out which bottles had promise, and which still weren’t a value even at a drastically reduced price.

Misfits Market seems to be enjoying a moment right now. You can be a bottom feeder of the produce market, from the convenience of your internet connection, and sign up for the delivery of imperfect produce. I love this concept, although I have yet to pull the trigger on signing up myself.

I’m telling you all of this because I don’t want to catch flack for my latest round of bottom feeding.

As much as Little Miss Fussy shares my love of food, somehow she has inherited her mother’s sweet tooth. I enjoy an occasional pastry, a scoop of ice cream, or a square of good dark chocolate every now and again. But I won’t blithely eat through a box of donuts, a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, or a king sized candy bar. One small bite of dessert is plenty for me, thank you very much.

That said, I know the deep love for sugar is real. And my daughter has a thing for Peeps. It’s not that they are the forbidden fruit, it’s just that when these cute and colorful sweets are released, we’re typically in the midst of Passover preparations. And it’s not even as if they contain any hametz. Given our holiday observance, they would be fine. It’s just that we traditionally eat Passover sweets during the Easter season.

Here’s the upside.

Once everyone is sick of Peeps, and all the Easter candy goes on deep discount, you can buy all the remaining Peeps for pennies on the dollar. In fact, I just picked up $17.32 worth of Peeps for just $4.33 from Walmart. Don’t tell Little Miss Fussy. It’s a surprise. But dear God, that’s a lot of Peeps.

When you’re a bottom feeder, you can’t be particularly choosy. You get what you get. So, what was the haul?

One ten pack of sour watermelon flavored chicks
One twelve pack of pink bunnies
One ten pack of purple chicks
One ten pack of “Party Cake” flavored chicks
One ten pack of blue chicks
One ten pack of “Pancakes & Syrup” flavored chicks
Five Peeps rainbow pops, each containing four skewered mini chicks

Egads! That’s a lot of sugar. I’m not going to count up the calories. And these won’t be just for her. She has a friend coming over soon, and maybe she’ll even repackage a few of these marshmallow critters into gifts for some of her other classmates.

Perhaps the Peep connoisseurs out there will rage against post Easter peeps. I could imagine that marshmallows are the softest and most sublime the moment they are created, and only go downhill from there. Actually, I know this to be true in regards to marshmallow creme, because a Mallow Cup from the factory in Altoona is a glorious thing, while one from a gas station along the highway is merely ho-hum.

Whatever the case, I’m sure Little Miss Fussy will be squealing with delight when she sees her new stash.

By the way, the remaining pre-filled Easter baskets were also 75% off, but even at this steep discount they still felt too expensive. Perhaps one of these days I’ll have to do a more extended piece on the awfulness of Easter candy in general. Or maybe there are some gems I’m overlooking. If that’s the case please let me know, because while it may not be worth it for me to buy them at full price, at twenty five cents on the dollar I’ll try just about anything.