Wine Storage: A Cautionary Tale
It feels like a lifetime ago that I had a decent wine collection. I had a large rack that I kept in an interior closet, that was cool, dark and neither too wet nor too dry. At its peak that closet probably held about 100 bottles of wine.
For most people there are only two things to worry about in regards to wine storage.
First, there is this one universal wine no-no. Second, you may hold onto a bottle for far too long. That is why there is Open That Bottle Night. And it’s happening soon, so start thinking about what you’ve been saving for that very special occasion that never seems to come.
For the most part, wine storage doesn’t need to be a fussy affair. For a few very serious collectors it makes sense to invest in temperature and humidity controlled cellars. But almost everyone else can make do with a cool and dark closet.
My cautionary tale does not date back to this golden age of my wine rack, but rather to less than 48 hours ago, just as I was taking my roasted root vegetables out of the oven to bring to a potluck dinner.
Hot Buttered Fussy
Ice plays a critical role in cocktails. It should be freshly made with good-tasting water. And if you are having a cocktail party, take my advice and make sure you have a lot more than you think you will need. When I am mixing drinks I go through a shocking volume of the stuff. I never run out of booze, but I’ll sometimes run out of ice.
In these winter months, I look out my window and see all of the light fluffy snow coating the world outside. Secretly I want to scoop some up, bring it indoors, and use it as the foundation for some delicious boozy concoction.
Unfortunately, just as nature bestows this stunning, billowy, icy bounty on the world, my desire for a cold drink has dried up. Now is the time for warmth, because it’s really, really cold out there.
Warm drinks come in many forms. From the deceptively simple hot toddy to things that require a bit more preparation, like hot buttered rum. Luckily for all of us, my friends in Los Angeles have spent much of December writing up a bunch of delicious recipes for drinks to warm all us poor souls in the tundra.
Fussy Galore
There is an old Yiddish saying, “Mentsch tracht, Gott lacht.”
The translation is, “Man plans, God laughs.”
And it’s not that God is just putzing around having a grand old time up in heaven, living it up and laughing while we are busy preparing for the future. Rather it is that God laughs when we plan for an unknowable future. After all, much about the future is beyond our control.
That is just one reason why I don’t write about things that are going to happen. But today, I’m going to make a rare exception because I got some exciting news. And it has something to do with the big changes that are going on at All Over Albany.
20-Minute Lies
I want people to cook. And I’m not alone. Jaime Oliver had a cooking school as part of his Food Revolution and Mark Bittman recently wrote up three recipes aimed to inspire people towards food self-sufficiency.
The problem is there are a lot of barriers that prevent people from cooking.
One of the biggest barriers is time. Cooking, and by that I mean actually making things from scratch using heat, is inherently a time intensive process. And a lot of people will say they just don’t have the time do it. So many food writers have worked really hard to try and create recipes that can be made fast. Even what it means to cook quickly has sped up over the years. It used to be meals in under an hour. Then it was thirty-minute meals.
Bittman said one of his three dishes takes only 15-20 minutes and another one he called “lightning fast.” But have you ever timed yourself trying to complete one of these recipes?
Getting Ready for Some Football
It’s not too early, dammit. The Super Bowl is less than a month away, and it’s time to start planning. Last year I went to a Super Bowl party with my family, and that was a big mistake.
In my experience Super Bowl gatherings tend to take on one of three forms:
1) People watch the game intently and chat during the commercials
2) People watch the commercials intently and chat during the game
3) People have the game on in the background so as to provide an excuse to party
I am squarely in the second camp, but I do actually like to watch the game too. It’s my one manly pursuit all year, and my annual tip of the hat to my gender. I enjoy watching football, it’s just that games are so long I never have the time to do it.
The party was lovely. The hosts were gracious. The guests were friendly.
But for a variety of reasons I was neither able to really watch the game nor enjoy the commercials. For my yearly tribute to manliness it was a complete failure. So now is the time for me to start thinking about what to do. And naturally food plays a central role.
Albany’s Star Chefs Come Out to Shine
There are no two ways about it. I had a great time at the Albany Chef’s Food and Wine festival. It may not have gone entirely as planned, but I had some good drinks with good company and got to taste the food of a few chefs I’ve been hearing a lot about.
But who was the big star of the night?
I’ll get to that in just a minute. Because if you have never been to this festival there is probably something you need to know. The wine and the booze tables totally outnumber the food tables. I was a bit surprised by that. And there were some stunning spirits to try as well as some very capable bartenders plying their trade. Of note was the energetic and charming gentleman at the Bacardi table who was simply delightful.
Perhaps one of the reasons for the discrepancy is that the top chefs are divided between the Friday tasting and the Saturday tasting. This was unexpected, and frankly disappointing. It meant I didn’t get to try food from either chef Dale Miller or the restaurant formerly known as Dale Miller. Nor did I taste what Chez Mike, MezzaNotte, McGuire’s, Creo, The Wine Bar, or Jack’s Oyster House would present.
So if you went on Saturday, you may have had a different experience.
Good Wine Hunting
When people say that they don’t like wine, I don’t believe them. When they tell me that they can’t appreciate good wine, I know that is not true. It’s not as if I think they are lying. Certainly these people may never have been served a wine that they like, nor given a chance to directly compare a good wine to a lesser wine.
However, unless you have something physiologically wrong with your sense of smell or taste, there is a wine out there for you.
I went through this with my in-laws and helped them realize their misconceptions about their own preferences though a series of structured tastings. Now they are wine enthusiasts who have a soft spot for Pinot Noir, Zinfandel and Shiraz. It’s a far cry from the Catawba Pink they used to drink when they thought better wine would be wasted on them.
Recently I found another friend with a different wine issue. It seems that she only liked really sweet and cheap wines or really expensive well-aged Bordeaux blends. I was sure that I could find some wines in the middle ground that she would enjoy. So I brought her along to the recent Albany Chef’s Food and Wine festival to try and find a good red wine.
The success of this quest was owed to one very useful trick.
Plan of Attack
I’ve been very good this week, but it’s made me a little bit crabby. Generally I just eat what I want when I want it, and try to keep it in moderation. But after a week of holiday gorging on Mrs. Fussy’s family farm, I packed on more weight than I care to admit.
It’s not as if I weigh myself every day. I knew I was in trouble when my father-in-law patted my belly. That isn’t a feature I usually sport. And even my loose pants were tight.
So I’ve been minding my portion sizes, avoiding desserts, and skipping cocktails for the past few days. Don’t hate me, but it’s paid off. The moral of the story is that when I stop eating like a jerk, I’m apparently still young enough to bounce back into my healthy-weight range.
Except later today I’m cutting loose.
Because at 4pm is the Grand Tasting of the Albany Chef’s Food & Wine Festival. The marketing materials claim the event will have selections from 250 restaurants, wineries, distilleries and breweries. Regrettably the event is only four hours long, especially since there are eight seminars on food and wine including an especially interesting one on yeast. I’m serious.
So I have made a plan.
Semi-Homemade Comes to Albany
Andrew Cuomo has come to clean up Albany. I learned that yesterday in his State of the State address that thanks to the miracle of modern technology, I was able to watch live over the Internet. Who needs TV?
If I watched more TV I might have a better sense about his better half, Sandra Lee. The only things I have seen from her lucrative brand of semi-homemade foodstuffs are the Chanukah cake and the Kwanzaa cake. Surely she’s a lovely person, somewhere deep down inside. But those cakes are nothing short of monstrosities.
I know there is an actual chef at the Governor’s mansion in Albany. Hopefully he will be able to go about his job with the dignity and professionalism to which he has surely grown accustomed. And hopefully it is his cooking that will represent our fair state at official dinners.
But since I know little about her, I have no intention to malign our Semi-First Lady. Instead, she has inspired me to come forward with my very own post on a delicious, semi-homemade dinner.
Coffee Confession Number Two
Guilt is powerful stuff. Letting go of guilt is hard, but it’s very empowering. This is why I have confessed my sins against good coffee, good cocktails, and good food on the road.
From the moment I wrote my first coffee confession, I began to feel the burden of coffee confession number two upon my psyche. But the guilt and the shame were just too great. In time, I thought, I would be able to earn back enough coffee credibility to share this dirty little secret without appearing like a complete coffee hack.
But then I was outed by my old friend Raf, who knows me far too well.
Despite being a lover of truly great coffee, most of the time I drink dreck at home. Maybe you caught my response to his jab in the last installment of Ask the Profussor. Or maybe you didn’t. I offered one explanation to why I drink supermarket coffee, but as usual the full story is a bit more nuanced.


