Judo?
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before.
Q: What’s the difference between Karate and Judo?
A: Karate is an ancient form of martial arts, and Judo is what you use to make bagels.
It is kind of amazing that I have been writing this blog for over six months and STILL have yet to cover the travesty of modern bagels.
“Is it a bigger travesty than that joke you led off with?”
You better believe it.
“But I like bagels.”
Maybe you do and maybe you don’t. But I’m guessing if you are not fired up on the subject that you like what people are calling bagels. You like those round bready things with a hole in the middle that people sell as bagels.
They make them in chains large and small all over the country. Some of these chains even dare to use the word Bagel in their names. Most of them make bagel sandwiches.
Shudder.
Let me try to explain.
The Miracle of the Oil
I don’t know how many more shopping days there are until Christmas, because Chanukah is upon us. Right now. It’s day three, and tonight will already be the fourth night. That means it is almost halfway over. Oy!
Chanukah is one of my favorite holidays. And no, it’s not because of the presents. It’s not because of the lights. It’s certainly not the songs. It’s because of the miracle of the oil.
Here’s the very very short story of Chanukah:
1) The Jews were oppressed. Again.
2) Against all odds, the Maccabees fought the Greeks and won.
3) The defiled Temple was rededicated.
4) An impossibly small amount of holy oil burned for eight days.
So, instead of celebrating this military victory of a small rogue band of guerilla fighters who took refuge in the hills and struck blow after blow against the mightiest army in the world, we celebrate the miracle of the oil.
And how does one celebrate that?
Fried foods.
GTWBR: Screw Top Wine
Good Things With Bad Raps. I like it as an ongoing theme. So far, we have covered Beaujolais Nouveau and slow cookers. But today I want to talk about screw tops on wine.
By in large they are very good closures, but many people dislike them.
I think part of the problem is the romance of the cork. It’s a longstanding tradition in a category that lives and breathes tradition. Everything from the volume of a wine bottle to its shape to its contents is steeped in tradition. Breaking from tradition isn’t something that is readily welcome in the wine world.
Ask the Profussor – Life & Cocktails
The last Ask the Profussor was only at the beginning of the month, but I have been particularly bad since then about keeping up with questions. Plus there were two excellent questions on Wednesday that I wanted to give thoughtful answers to as quickly as possible.
Despite the short time, a lot has happened since the last installment. The FUSSYlittleBLOG seems to be getting a bunch of comments from new commenters recently. I can’t tell if these are longtime readers who are finally getting comfortable enough to post, or new readers who are happy to jump right in. Either way, I am thrilled you all are here, and decided to share with the group.
Also, it did not go by unnoticed that a regular commenter Jennifer started tagging her comments with a link to her new blog. Congratulations. As of today, you can find a convenient link to her site Sweetly Tart in the blogroll.
Now without further ado, on to the questions.
Stabbing Cows
I’m sure that there are some shots that cows need. Maybe there are some vaccinations designed to help stop the spread of disease. Perhaps there are some lifesaving medicines administered directly into the bloodstream. I readily admit that I don’t know a lot about animal husbandry. Or medicine.
But there is one shot that dairy farmers started to give to cows to increase their profits. And that shot contained recombinant bovine growth hormone, also known as rBGH. This hormone is designed to increase a cow’s milk supply. Which sounds fine and dandy.
Except that I don’t like it.
I am no medical expert. So I cannot give you my evaluation of the data on both sides of the rBGH issue. The people who are opposed to the growth hormone says it does horrible things to people. Some also argue it’s not so good for the cows and results in the animals needing more antibiotics. The people who support the growth hormone say that milk produced by injected cows is identical to milk produced by uninjected cows.
So in theory, it is unfair to say, “rBGH is in almost every dairy product on supermarket shelves.” Rather, one would be more correct to say, “Milk produced by cows treated with rBGH is in almost every dairy product on supermarket shelves.”
Heavy Cream Heavy
This is the time of year people do a lot of cooking. Sure, Thanksgiving is behind us. But there are Christmas and New Year’s Eve ahead of us. I remember making a lobster bisque for one special New Year’s celebration.
The vast majority of foods that are cooked during this season are rich and comforting. There is a lot of butter. There is a lot of cream. And that brings me to my rant of the day.
It may never have occurred to you to look at the ingredients in your cream. Now you are probably saying, “Ingredients in cream? It’s cream. Have you gone mad?” That is exactly what I thought, too. But now it is exceedingly difficult to find just cream.
Speaking of Perfection
“The salmon was cooked to perfection.” Well maybe it was, and maybe it wasn’t. But the way people throw-around the word perfect these days, I tend to doubt it.
I am taking a few days just to get some things off my chest. There are a few words that are terribly overused in describing restaurant food – and they drive me crazy. Yesterday I tackled “Fresh” and today I am setting my sights on “Perfect.”
Can some things be perfect? I think they can. Sure, there are those who believe that perfection is the providence of the divine. But I like to think of perfection in narrower terms. One example might be, “A perfect slice of NY-style pizza.”
Freshy Fresh
This week I balance the scales. Sure, the holiday season is supposed to be all about love, but looking at my tag cloud, “Hate” is precariously small. And there are precious few posts under Fussy about Criticism.
So I’m going to take a few days just to get some things off my chest. If all goes according to plan, most of the posts will not mention a single local media source. How’s that for holiday spirit?
Thank you in advance for your indulgence.
There are a few words that are terribly overused in describing restaurant food. One that I find particularly offensive is “Fresh.” Let me try and explain.
The Pepsi Challenge
Tastings, even blind tastings, can be rigged.
Did I ever tell you that I studied marketing at the Wharton School? Well, my absolute favorite part from Marketing 101 was the Harvard Business School case study involving the Pepsi Challenge.
It was brilliant. Here is what I remember many many years later.
Coca-Cola was the market leader, by a significant margin. Pepsi-Cola was no more serious a competitor than RC or a variety of other secondary brands. That is, until Pepsi leveraged a powerful insight involving the physiology of taste: given a choice between small quantities of two items, people will naturally prefer the sweeter item. Pepsi, which is sweeter than Coke, was a shoe-in.
And thus the Pepsi Challenge was born. One summer, Pepsi went around with unmarked samples of the two colas, and asked people which they preferred. When Pepsi won, and highlighted the results in its advertising, Coca-Cola panicked. The market leader made several subsequent missteps that cost it its lead, from which the company was never able to recover.
If you go tasting, here are a couple of practical tips to keep in mind, pulled straight from the case study.
Consistency is the Enemy of Brilliance
Harvest Spirits is getting a lot of love from me this week. My trip out there on Tuesday reminded me of a theme I’ve been meaning to explore: the benefits of inconsistency.
A few weeks ago I glanced on the subject:
When there is a truly handcrafted product involved, inconsistency is par for the course. If you expect consistency, may I suggest Pizza Hut or Domino’s – they are nothing if not consistent. And on the flip side, the lows can even make the highs all the better.
All too often, consistency is touted as THE virtue for food producers. It’s a golden ring that many strive to achieve to keep their customers happy. But consistency has an ugly dark side. Inconsistency, on the other hand, allows for flashes of brilliance and stunning results that are unreachable when one is trying to make the same thing, the same way, all the time.
Core Vodka is probably the most inconsistent spirit on the market. Please take a moment, and look at their Distiller’s Notebook. When you are done, we can discuss.
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