Learn How to Disco Fry in Five Easy Steps

Poutine is a highly desired dish in Albany. But nobody makes it well. I’m starting to think that the reason one can’t find good poutine in America has something to do with government safety regulations. Maybe the cheese curds have to be kept too cold. Or maybe they can’t even be made to squeak in the first place given our stringent laws about cooking young cheeses to death. I don’t know.

But if it’s fries with gravy and cheese that you want, the Capital Region has you covered. There are plenty of joints from bars, to taverns, to diners that can scratch that itch.

Last weekend I set off with a small hand-picked crew of serious eaters to evaluate our region’s most storied Disco Fries. Sure, most places simply called them by their generic name of “Fries with gravy and cheese”. But they aren’t fooling anyone. We stayed away from the diners, because really, who wants to disco at a diner in upstate New York? Jersey diners are another story.

So, what did we learn about this dish? And where can you get the best one? Well, I suppose that depends on what you are looking for in a plate of these cheesy, salty, fatty, pleasure sticks.

You can follow along with the pictures that Albany Jane posted on her blog yesterday if you are so inclined to see the serious differences in each of these dishes from spot to spot.

One thing to note is how different most of these are from one another.

Junior’s was all about the cheese. Roni C. said their potatoes were “nicely fried (crisp outside, tender inside).” The little bits of skin helped provide some good potato flavor. But these were also a bit deceptive. Under the nicely melted layer of finely grated cheese lurked a lake of cheez sauce. J from Chopsticks Optional noted that the “First bite [was] remarkably good.” After those first few bites all that remained was big mouthfulls of orange goo seasoned with an unremarkable gravy Albany Jane compared to Heinz jarred.

On a personal note, I could see myself eating these again. Don’t forget I went to college in Philadelphia. Cheez Whiz runs through my veins. But this is something I would order to drown my sorrows, not elevate my spirit.

Bombers is synonymous with Disco Fries in the region. So how did theirs measure up? For starters it was nice to see the shop’s prominent display of gravy crowning the basket of fries. By all measures this version was better than Junior’s. Albany Jane ranked it her second favorite batch of the tour. She praised it for its commitment to real cheese and for the “awesome crunch” on the fries. But really, this was all about the gravy. Most participants praised the poultry gravy’s full flavor and generous coverage. However, the cheese was quite bland and the potatoes were lacking in flavor too. Overall Bombers did respectably, coming in at the middle of the pack.

Hill Street Cafe was off my radar for Disco Fries until it was nominated by DEN. He called their steak fries “ranch style” and this was the only place we visited that went that route. How did that work out?

Well first, we were presented with an unexpected quandary. When ordering the fries with cheese and gravy, the woman behind the bar asked, “Beef or turkey?” Since the point of this expedition was scientific in nature, the only answer was, “One of each.” For the sake of the scores we went with the better of the two. Turkey. You want the turkey gravy. It’s fantastic.

Roni C. held the minority opinion that Hill Street’s version of Disco Fries were the best of the day. This is what he wrote, “The potatoes were outstanding and presented a very solid base for the dish. While the cheese sauce was only average, it melded well with the gravy, which had very bold flavor and a nice, creamy comfortable texture.” Truly, the way the gravy and cheese sauce melded together was a thing of beauty. It reminded me of the glorious slurry of grease and whiz that forms in the rolls at Pat’s Steaks in South Philly.

Far and away, Hill Street made the best fries of the day. They were super crisp, held up to the wet toppings remarkably well, and were a great delivery device for getting the cheese and gravy into your mouth. This was a very close second place finish. For those who see Disco Fries about the fries first and foremost, Hill Street is the place for you.

But by the end of the tour, the vast majority of those on this tour decided that Disco Fries are really about the gravy and cheese. The Ruck knocked these elements out of the park, and did so in a very smart way.

The weakest link of The Ruck’s Disco Fries is their potatoes. They start out limp and they end limp. It’s a good thing they come with a fork, because eating them by hand is a real challenge (although not impossible). They are then covered with a layer of shredded pepper jack cheese that begins to melt once in contact with the hot fries. Finally, the basket is crowned with an avalanche of dark brown turkey gravy that transforms the softened cheese into a melted pile of piquant goo. Quality ingredients, skilled preparation, and big bold flavors are what put this basket of Disco Fries over the top.

I had high hopes for O’Toole’s in Colonie. It’s one of those places that has a lot of fried foods on the menu, and that kind of specialization can lead a kitchen to greatness. Plus their version of this dish came on beer battered french fries and promised homemade gravy.

But these ultimately were a disappointment. The potatoes weren’t crisp, but almost chewy. The cheese sauce was extra gloppy. And while the gravy did have homemade notes of bay and thyme, there wasn’t nearly enough of it. They can’t all be winners, but this was the only one from the batch that I would have no interest in eating again.

Congratulations to The Ruck for its remarkable version of this dish. But as much as we all loved it, everyone agreed that it would be even better with the fries from Hill Street Cafe. If The Ruck could make its fries as crispy as it makes its wings, the resulting Disco Fries might cause people stop whining about the lack of poutine in the region.

Dare to dream.