The Dozen That Didn’t
Tuesday is still too early to talk about Champagne or cocktails for New Year’s Eve. Tonight is the last night of Chanukah, but I’m pretty much over eating fried foods, and really don’t want to talk about my weeklong binge fest. Let’s just say I went out today and bought two new pairs of jeans after consuming some ceremonial deep-fried chicken wings and French fries.
Instead I’m going to jump head first into the first of the Fussy Little Round-ups of 2011.
I write a lot of original posts. What’s interesting is that I never know which ones are going to capture people’s imaginations and which ones are going to fall flat. There are lots of reasons why some posts can underperform, and this is the last chance the laggards will get to see the light of day. Because after this, they’ll be sealed away in the catacombs with dear old Fortunato.
Although sometimes there are common themes and conclusions that can be drawn by looking at a year’s worth of posts. This year, there is one unavoidable conclusion.
Loose Ends
Greetings from Pennsylvania. Again. Hopefully those of you who celebrated Christmas yesterday had a spectacular time. I especially enjoyed hearing about kater’s sour mushroom soup. Maybe I’ll have to hit her up for the recipe. Easy, sour and mushroom, are three words that get me pretty excited. Not to mention that it’s totally soup season.
As anticipated the Fussy’s were able to fulfill our recent Christmas tradition of Chinese dinner at Golden Wok in State College, Pennsylvania. Can you say deep fried pork chop? But while Christmas is finally over, we Jews still have two more nights on Chanukah. I love the holiday, but I’m ready for it to be over.
Or at least my gallbladder is.
Also I really am not looking forward to going out to the stores tomorrow to pick up the last two nights of presents for the kids. It’s time to move on and start focusing on New Year’s Eve. There is precious little time between now and this next major holiday. In the past I’ve jumped right into sparkling wine and festive cocktails on the heels of Christmas.
But this year Chanukah lingers on. Maybe that’s okay, especially since before I can move forward there are two loose ends that need to be tied up.
Christmas Traditions
Merry Christmas. Last year I had a song for you. It seemed like the most appropriate one for this forum, even though it has nothing to do with food.
What can I say, I’m sentimental. Really, I’m a big softie. I cried watching Jurassic Park.
That aside, holidays are all about traditions. Presumably you have some. Likely very few people decide to spend any part of the day keeping up with their favorite regional food blogs. But we have a few traditions ourselves. And it wouldn’t feel like Christmas without them.
The Post Before Christmas
There’s important stuff buried in here. I’m serious. But today is Friday, Saturday I take off, and on Sunday it’s Christmas day. So this is my last chance to wish everyone a Merry Christmas in the best way I know how.
Okay, here it goes.
Twas some hours before Christmas, the meal at the house
And all guests they were munching on cheeses and on grouse.
Well maybe not grouse, but there was good paté
And surely some more tasty things on the way.
The smells from the kitchen they sailed through the air
Like chestnuts and nutmeg and puddings so fair.
All the dishes were good, but one’s a grand slam,
If you’ve had one you know, it’s the HoneyBaked ham.
But somewhere between the fridge and the table,
The ham had some trouble with my dear old aunt Mabel.
She was proper and feisty but not really that old.
And said, “I’ll never serve guests any ham that is cold.”
Ask the Profussor – All I Want for Christmas
So Chanukah is here and Christmas is around the corner. I don’t know much about Festivus but I already aired my grievances. Then it’s the mad dash to New Year’s Eve. That means year-end retrospectives, posts about bubbly and maybe a cocktail or two, and thoughts about what the future holds for the FLB.
As far as I can tell, the only time to post an Ask the Profussor is now. And that’s pretty much perfect, because all I want for Christmas is to be caught up with my answers.
For those who are unfamiliar with this semi-regular feature on the FLB, I am committed to answering every question that is asked of me (provided they include proper punctuation). However, not all of these get answered in a timely way. Many of them get stacked up in a pile, much like presents under a tree. Except these require more than batteries, they need answers.
Today I’m unwrapping my presents early, so I can focus on the more urgent subjects ahead. The next ten days are going to be great. So now, without further ado, onto the questions.
Last Minute Gift Rundown
How much can one person write about food? I suppose we are going to find out. Because I’m well past 800 posts and am still going strong.
There is just one problem.
Buried deep in those hundreds of past posts are some good ideas. I can’t even recall what I wrote last week, much less what I wrote last year. And I’m not terribly happy about how difficult it is to find certain historical posts.
Things like last minute gift ideas don’t really change much year to year. And over the past few years I’ve had a few thoughts on the subject that could be helpful right about now. Today, I’m going to dig deep into the archive and share some of these with you. But I suspect this might be the first of a handful such posts as we approach the end of the year.
For now, let’s talk about gifts.
Hooray for Chanukah
Most of you have a few more days to get your Christmas shopping done. But Chanukah is here. Well, at least it will be here once the sun goes down. This is one of the idiosyncrasies of belonging to a people that follow a lunar calendar.
If it weren’t so normal to me, it might seem creepy. All of our holidays start at night and end at night.
Because we don’t come from a tradition where some super-human travels around the world in one night delivering presents, neither Young Master Fussy nor Little Miss Fussy have any unrealistic expectations about the presents they might receive from their loved ones. In fact at the top of Young Master Fussy’s list is a slide whistle. He would also like a hula-hoop and a length of rope.
Nonetheless the children are really looking forward to the holiday. And part of it is the candles. Kids just love candles. But in my heart of hearts, I really hope the source of their excitement is in the holiday food.
A-Holes and Monks
You know what happens when you start comparing decadent food to Big Macs?
It makes Big Macs look downright virtuous.
Think about this: If a tub of movie popcorn is the same fat and calorie load of three Big Macs, then getting one Big Mac can’t be that bad. It would seem as if the well-intentioned people at the Center of Science in the Public Interest have finally begun to understand this relationship.
Mrs. Fussy and I received a solicitation from them in the mail. The envelope included a sheet, which on one side has a list of ten offensive food items, and on the other a list of ten “better alternatives”. This time around, none of the offenders were compared to a multiple of big macs. However the Oh Fudge! Shake from Cold Stone Creamery was colorfully described as, “the saturated fat content of two 16-oz T-bone steaks plus a buttered baked potato all blended into a handy 24 oz cup.”
In theory I should love these guys. They are fighting the good fight about over processed junk foods and out of control portion sizes, all in the service of getting Americans to eat better. But in practice, I can’t stand them. This mailer just goes to reinforce this fact. And it’s not just because they named Chipotle as one of the worst of the worst.
It’s Crepe Time in America
On my last trip to California I stole away from my friends to eat at a rather famous breakfast spot in Berkeley. It’s called Café Fanny, and it is related to Chez Panisse. They make some pretty perfect poached eggs on amazing toast. And it’s always pretty tempting to order those marvelous specimens.
But on that trip, I had been staying with ADS, who keeps his own chickens, and every morning he was making me the best poached egg I had every had in my life.
It’s really unfortunate that once you have had absolutely stunning versions of a food how difficult it is to go back to the “pretty perfect.” I know, “first world problems.” So instead of Café Fanny’s poached eggs, I opted for their buckwheat crepes with their hosemade jam and a giant bowl of their café au lait. Such delicious simplicity.
You will probably not be surprised to learn that I have some strong feelings about crepes. And while I love that you can enjoy these for breakfast, lunch, dinner and dessert, since today is Sunday, I’m going to focus on breakfast.
Fussy Little Cocktail Special
This past week I got into a bit of a dustup with Jack’s Oyster House about the venerable Martini cocktail. They posted a picture of their barman serving up a drink with the caption “Shaken not stirred.” As you all well should know by now, a proper Martini is stirred and not shaken.
After a bit of back and forth over Twitter and Facebook, Jack’s has made a most pleasing announcement:
This Saturday night, December 17, proper Martinis are half-price.
In celebration of this fact I’m going to make a rare Saturday night appearance at a bar, their bar, and I’m hoping that some of you will join me. However, if you are going to be drinking a Martini with me, there are probably a few things you should know.
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