Bad Bread Gets Badder
Believe it or not, but not everyone in the Fussy household is on board the real-food train. In some ways, I suppose that’s a good thing, because it keeps me grounded in just how hard the task is of changing people’s minds when it comes to food.
Last night’s dinner didn’t meet with any grumbles. We had a white bean and potato soup, which was flavored with parmigiano rinds. There was a bit of orzo stirred in, and loose sausage from Bella Terra Farm was browned and scattered on top.
Even though the soup has starch in the form of both potato and pasta, there are some members of the family who insist on toast sticks to dip into the soup. And by some, I mean everybody else but me. Perhaps I should try again to get the rest of the family on real bread. Real bread doesn’t have any emulsifiers, preservatives, or added flavors. Real bread can be made with just four ingredients. Luckily, there’s a regional bakery named Heidelberg that is doing just that with flour, yeast, salt, and water.
Heidelberg is what I eat, but it’s not what the family eats. They need something squishier, and it’s turned my stomach for years. The best of the worst has seemed to be Arnold’s 100% Whole Wheat. At least that was true until they recently “improved” their recipe.
My Morning Muslim Ritual
So Chanukah is over. Another one is in the books. And this year’s celebration was a doozy. As far as I’m concerned, we can put “Happy Holidays” to bed and start wishing everyone a “Merry Christmas and happy new year.”
It’s a strange time in America right now. All the major religious groups are feeling persecuted. I’m not sure about how the Buddhists are feeling these days, but they’ve always seemed to be a pretty go with the flow kind of bunch. I think I can say that. My cousin is a Buddhist.
To make matters more challenging, people are arming themselves to the teeth, going out in public with their weapons, and scaring the bejeezus out of those of us who are uncomfortable around guns. People are also killing each other as they “stand their ground” instead of trying to deescalate a situation without using deadly force. Police are doing this too. I question if a 21 year old college student really had to be killed when he was breaking car windows with an axe.
Perhaps even more upsetting than the acts themselves are the public’s reaction to them. There’s just a lot of fear and anger percolating in our society, and I’m not quite sure where all of it is coming from. As Stevie sang a long time ago, “Love’s in need of love today.” And I’m feeling the need to contribute some right away.
Lately, anti-Muslim sentiment has been on the rise, so let’s start there.
Bismarck Key
Anyone remember Biz Markie? He’s hard to forget. Apparently Mr. Markie went on tour with Yo Gabba Gabba. But before that, he had this popular hit.
Besides his name, this musician has nothing to do with the donuts sometimes referred to as bismarcks. But I can’t think of one without the other. And I apologize if now you’ve forever got the two intertwined in your subconscious.
So, we’ve got this kind-of-famous off-the-beaten-path donut operation in the region that’s especially known for its bismarcks. And that is the King Bakery Donut Cart at Double K Farm. It’s all the way out Cambridge, NY, about an hour’s drive from Albany. While I’ve had my eyes on the place for some time, I’ve never made the excursion.
This is when it’s helpful to have friends.
500 Latkes
Frozen latkes have gotten me through bleak Chanukah seasons of years past. If I recall correctly, one year I couldn’t even get those and had to resort to hash brown patties. I thought it was a clever substitution, but they really just aren’t the same.
This year, I’m having none of it.
On the third night of Chanukah, I made some non traditional latkes at home. On the fifth night, the kids and I went over to Silly Goose Farm for Deanna Fox’s version which totally blew mine out of the water. On the sixth night it’s off to Congregation Gates of Heaven for its annual latke dinner. Mona Golub supervises the brigade, and she does an incredible job. On the seventh night we have yet another latke party with some more friends in Albany.
If you were keeping count, that’s four nights of latkes. The holiday is eight nights, so in baseball terms, I’m batting 500. And that’s just for latkes. Of course there is other fried food involved too.
Now, I think I’ve realized something.
Beer Nuts
Marketing is my master. Seriously, I succumb to well designed packaging, or compelling copy on a hang tag or shelf-talker. Tell me that there’s a super special limited edition version of a product, and I’ll go the mall at midnight on a weekday to make sure I can buy one.
And it’s not just for food either. Video games used to have a viselike grip on my life. I had to get prized titles the moment they were available to the public. Even before that, when I was in high school, I was the same way with movies. You could catch me at the theater on a Wednesday or Thursday night watching the sneak preview of a film that would be opening up on Friday.
Just a few years ago, I grabbed a bottle of Harvest Spirits Applejack on the first day of its availability. I was at Albany Distilling Co. on its opening day too to buy a bottle of Coal Yard. I guess old habits die hard.
I mention all of this, because it has become clear to me that I’m doomed to repeat my old habits, but with a new category.
Fear and Loathing in the Supermarket
Fear. Everyone’s talking about it.
Did you ever see Defending Your Life? It’s an old movie with Albert Brooks and Meryl Streep. Most people hate it. I must have seen the picture over twenty times. All sorts of big subjects were tackled rather brilliantly in the story, including death, love, and yes, fear.
Rip Torn plays a lawyer of sorts and was explaining how citizens of the universe view life down on Earth. Instead of telling you about it, here’s the scene. But if 3:30 is just too long to watch, right now, the nut is that everyone on Earth uses 3-5% of their brains, and pretty much our entire lives are driven by fear.
Here’s the relevant excerpt from the clip, “Fear is like a giant fog. It blocks everything. Real feelings, true happiness, real joy. They can’t get through that fog. But you lift it… and you’re in for the ride of your life.”
We all have fears. But I’m not particularly afraid of death. It’s coming for all of us. I don’t fear for my safety or the safety of my family, as I’ve learned that safety is an illusion. Freak accidents happen all the time. You can’t protect yourself or your loved ones from random events.
A friend’s father slipped from a low rung of a ladder, broke his neck, and died instantly. Fatal car crashes happen all the time. Cancer snatches the young and old alike, sometimes with breathtaking speed. Animals attack. You choke on a donut when eating alone at home. Undetected aneurysms rupture. This is getting dark. Let me get to the point.
The point is that life is fragile. Life is fleeting. And that’s part of what makes it so very special.
There are plenty of food writers who feed into people’s fear. That’s not what I try to do. But if we’re not long for this world, and we are not, you may want to make sure you’ve enjoyed a well-lived life. And that is a big part of the reason why I find myself appalled by what supermarkets pass off as food.
Fried and True
Happy Chanukah! This has got to be my favorite of the Jewish holidays. We’ve got some winners. Purim is the drinking holiday. Passover begins with a festive meal, which I have to say I generally prefer to Thanksgiving.
But this week, we get to eat all the fried things!
Sure, there is actual important food news to share, but it’s all such a downer. Who wants to talk about genetically modified salmon when we could list all of our favorite fried things to eat in the Capital Region. Surely, my list will be incomplete. So hopefully you can help me fill in any blank spots that I have overlooked.
I’d caution anyone from thinking of this as a to-do list for the week. Even I know that’s a bad idea. Which is why I’ve taken the first item on this list and scheduled a time to eat it next week, after Chanukah is over. Here’s a little known fact: some of the Jewish holidays are made longer just to make sure we did a good enough job celebrating them.
So, I may just see how many of these I can hit until leaving for Pennsylvania at the end of the month.
Hello Starbucks My Old Friend
Birthdays can be good for the value seeker. There are plenty of freebies to be had around town. The famous ones in the Capital Region have to do with large vessels of alcoholic libations. Bomber’s has a gigantic cocktail glass that’s filled with something resembling a margarita, The Olde English has the enormous teacup filled with hard cider, and Wolff’s Biergarten has the huge boot-shaped glass filled with beer.
I’ve never tackled any of those. And I’ve never really been all that tempted to try. This is what happens when you get old. Even the free wings at the Rusty Nail, one for each year you’ve managed to reach, don’t have much appeal to me.
It’s not that I’m opposed to gluttony. I love it. It’s that the sitting down to eat or drink one of the same thing for a long period of time just isn’t my scene. There was one birthday freebie that I couldn’t resist yesterday, though, and that was a free coffee from Starbucks.
Let’s just say that the experience was an eye-opener.
Beer Cheese
abWine and cheese. Those two words seem to be practically inseparable.
Looking at how food terms pair up makes me wonder how these different ingredient combinations found their way into the popular lexicon.
Champagne and caviar. I think vodka is a much better pairing. It really helps to wipe clean the palate, and prepare you to enjoy the next bite. I think the champagne thing took hold because each item was a luxury good. And that’s all fine and dandy. But I’ve never found the two of them together to be all that great.
When it comes to word pairings, it’s really the word “wine” that conjures up “cheese”, because if you lead with “cheese” then you follow with “crackers”. And that’s odd too, because crackers tend to overshadow most cheeses. Serious cheese lovers enjoy simply eating their favorite cheeses out of hand.
My best guess as to how wine became forever entwined with cheese, has to do with the old wine sales axiom: buy on an apple, and sell on cheese. Yes, cheese makes middling wine taste better. But much like crackers, wine can be a troublesome pairing with cheese.
Beer is better.
My Happy Place
Bad stuff happens. All. The. Time. Every day is another senseless tragedy. Both here and abroad. Sometimes it’s a crazy person with a gun. Sometimes it’s state sanctioned violence against those without a voice. Sometimes the problems target individuals. Sometimes the problems are so deeply engrained within institutions that entire communities are impacted. Sometimes bad things happen because of bigotry and intolerance. A lot of bad things happen because of greed.
I could go on, but I’m just going to stop this chain of thought right here. I’m going to take breath. I’m going to be thankful my family is still in one piece, and that the tragedies of the world have not visited my doorstep today.
My goal here isn’t to minimize the sorrow, or the anger, or confusion of current events. However, I’m going to choose to not participate in the unfolding conversation here on the FLB. That said, complaining about the trespasses of the food industry or minor gripes about food not living up to expectations seem especially out of place today.
Today, I need to be reminded of the things that make me happy. So here are a few food-related ones.
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